Purpose, Self Improvement

Writing, Girls, and Self-Improvement

2 Comments 03 January 2012

Writing is hard. I’m taking the advice of some expert writers who also believe that writing is difficult, but that it gets easier if you just start.

I made a New Year’s resolution to get up early in the morning and start writing. I don’t have any goals with the writing. I may post some of it to my blog; I may not. I didn’t want to put any additional pressure on myself that would lead to failure. My only goal is to write…period.

Yesterday was the first day I got up early to write. Luckily, an idea for my writing came to mind as soon as I started. I’m happy an idea came to mind, but I’m even happier I started.

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of self-improvement. I’ve gone through various “improve myself” phases in various forms.

The first time I deliberately tried to improve myself was the summer before 8th grade. My family and I had just moved from Korea to the US.

I realized I was getting fat from eating crappy food. It was a little weird because we had this food available to us in Korea (we lived on a US military base) so I’m not exactly sure why I was getting fat. I think it was because I wasn’t walking as much as I used to.

In any case, I figured the solution was to start doing pushups and crunches every day. I started with 50 pushups 50 crunches. By the same time the following year I was doing 2000 crunches every night before bed (and still only 50 pushups because, well, I didn’t like doing pushups).  My abs looked great.

Since 8th grade I’ve gone through various fitness oriented self-improvement plans. I’m doing one right now. I lost about 13 pounds doing the slow carb diet and am now trying to put on some more muscle.

My second big attempt at self-improvement involved girls, as in, getting good at attracting them. Though abs helped, it certainly wasn’t enough.

It was probably around high school that a friend and I discovered the pick up artist community. We started poking around the forums and learned techniques like “negging,” where you tease the girl a bit or give a backhanded compliment.

Many of these techniques actually worked. The hard part was actually starting the conversation.

I still believe it’s helpful to know about the techniques, but if you’re a confident person, you’ll naturally do some of the things the pick-up artist community promotes.

The pick-up artist community may seem shallow and sleazy (which it kind of is), but it does promote the concepts of deliberate practice, mastery, and confidence.

By getting over your fear of the opposite sex through the practice of uncomfortable pick up artist techniques, you master a skill (attracting women) and become more confident in yourself.

It’s probably not a coincidence that my first forays into self-improvement involved fitness and pick-up techniques. I have a suspicion those areas have been wired into the male brain as excellent choices for improvement over the course of thousands of years of human evolution i.e. get strong and hunt, find woman and make babies.

Fitness falls into the category of physical improvement. This requires nothing except a desire to improve and a plan to accomplish it. You can do it alone.

The skill of attracting women is a little different. It requires you to interact with other people. It’s not a solitary endeavor. It teaches you how to interact with people. It’s an exercise in relationship building (though a shallow one).

My goal of writing every morning is my current endeavor into self-improvement. When I said I had no other goals with writing, I lied. I hope that my mind becomes more creative, that the self-discipline spills into other areas of my life, and that this leads to an opportunity to make a lot of money somehow.

Physical-self, relationships, and creative discipline: I have a hunch that if you work on mastering those areas of your life, you’ll be successful.

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